Wedding Regulations and Guidelines

There are many details that go into planning a wedding. Couples get caught up in them very early on. First the right person, then the ring, then the announcement to family and friends, then congratulations on all sides. We want to congratulate you as well and wish you the best for the future.

It is most important that marriage preparation be one of the first things a couple begins to work on, together with the priest or deacon who will have the ceremony.

Holy Family parish and the Archdiocese have set policies to guide couples through their preparation, not just for the wedding but for married life afterwards. The whole church is invested in you and in your relationship. Your success as a married couple brings God's love into the world in a unique way. Your commitment and life-long work at your relationship is full of opportunities to rely on one another and on the grace of God.

It is true that "a wedding is for a day; a marriage is for a lifetime." For this reason, there is at least a six month period of preparation before the wedding date. This is a time of discernment and discovery, a time to deepen the couple’s relationship. Details of this process can be found on the next pages.

As the process is completed, more attention can be given to the wedding ceremony. Although the couple and their families have to deal with halls and limos, menus, etc., it is the couple and the minister, whether priest or deacon, who work out the details of the wedding ceremony.

The first step is making an appointment with the pastor or deacon to request that your wedding be celebrated here at Holy Family. A tentative date may be set at that first appointment.

Catholics from other parishes may also request to be married here with the permission of their pastor and with their pastor being the celebrant for their wedding.

Many pastors are reluctant to do weddings outside of their parish. In that case, the couple should plan to have their wedding in the parish in which they are registered. Your home church is the proper place for your wedding. Your sacrament there will add to the life of that parish. The "place that raised you" in Baptism, Confirmation and Eucharist deserves to be the place where you begin the Sacrament of the rest of your life, Matrimony.

Members of registered families still living in Holy Family Parish are asked to register themselves as a separate household. Our expectation is that regular attendance at Sunday Eucharist has been, or will become, a part of your life. The same expectation holds for taking part in other areas of parish life in volunteerism and support.

If you will be making your home in Holy Family Parish, your registration can reflect that soon after the ceremony. If you will be living in another part of the city or elsewhere, we can notify the parishes in your new area to reach out and welcome you.

Although this is a busy time in your life, exchanging vows and rings before God’s altar loses meaning if God is not already a part of your life. It must be important to you now if it is to be important to your children later.

We urge you to stir into flame that gift from God who has made you part of his people. The Sacrament of Marriage brings you into a special relationship with God. Bask in it.

At the first appointment, forms will be filled out for the bride and the groom. Basically, they provide biographical information and establish the freedom and the intent to enter into a sacramental relationship.

The forms may also surface problems such as a previous relationship. Other situations may arise which can be dealt with at that time. These include but are not limited to: children, living together, faith backgrounds, etc. For cohabiting couples, additional assessments are available and encouraged. See, for example, For Your Marriage..

It is important that each of these be addressed as soon as possible. Some may require additional canonical (church law) solutions. Some of those may cause a postponement or delay in scheduling a wedding.

At the end of the first appointment, a date is set for the follow-up time for the couple to take the FOCCUS test. The couple also at this time is asked to contact the church in which they were baptized and have a full baptismal certificate sent to Holy Family Parish [A request form is included at the end of these guidelines. Finally the couple is to invite their parents to make an appointment with the priest or deacon so that they may fill out their corrobating testimony.

No one couple can possibly have talked about 100% of all the life issues and decisions that arise over time. The instrument will disclose areas not only of agreement and disagreement but of areas still under discussion or not yet begun.

Couples find the instrument helpful not just for the moment but for life ahead.

Sometimes more serious issues are disclosed, so that appropriate resolution can be sought.

It takes a week to ten days to have the FOCCUS scored and returned to the parish. You will be called when the results are received so that another appointment may be scheduled.

In reviewing the test, couples can see in an external, non-threatening format their strengths and weaknesses, their areas of solid agreement and areas that need further discussion.

The FOCCUS also serves as an indicator for the type of Archdiocesan marriage preparation the couple may be asked to seek.

In most cases, the two regularly scheduled prep courses are sufficient. However, in some cases, pre-marriage counseling may be advised or required.

Each of these pre-marriage courses is not meant to be a hindrance to marriage but to give the best preparation possible for each individual couple in their unique circumstances.

At the end of this session, the couple is given a schedule of the marriage courses available and asked to make reservations with the Office of Family Ministries to attend.

After the couple have completed the Archdiocesan course, they make an appointment to discuss their assessment of what they heard and to begin the details of planning the wedding liturgy.

Although this is "your" day, it is also the church’s day. We celebrate in sacrament always the loving presence of God acting in our lives. So there needs to be a balance, actually a balance in God’s favor.

Music, readings, participants, and actions need to reflect that this is a service of prayer that consecrates two people to live a life of love in which God’s presence may be seen.

A list of acceptable and available musicians will be given to the couple. The couple should contact them as soon as possible. They will be able to help the couple select appropriate music. Other musicians may be selected if they are credentialed as liturgical musicians at another Catholic parish.

The book of readings will be given to the couple so they can select appropriate readings. You may choose readers for the first and second reading and for the prayers of the faithful. Anyone who reads in church on a regular basis would be the first choice.

If you have family or friends who are commissioned extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist in their home parish, you may ask them to help with the distribution of Communion.

Altar servers can be provided by the parish or you may have young relatives who perform this ministry and may serve at your wedding.

Children under the age of five should not be used as ring bearers, flower girls, or junior bridesmaids.

Photographers and videographers should be aware of these regulations. Flash may be used only during the entrance and exit processions. No flash during the ceremony itself. Pictures may not be taken from the sanctuary platform. Video recording must be handled with sensitivity. Cameras should be stationary and not moved. Recommended locations are the choir loft or one of the side aisles.

Wedding coordinators do not have a say in what happens within the church. We have volunteers who see that everything runs smoothly.

You are asked to recruit a family volunteer or two to see that the church is left in a neat condition, that the cry room is straightened and all programs gathered from the pews.

One half of the appropriate fee is due at the time you schedule the date for your wedding. The balance is due 30 days before the wedding date. Checks are to be made payable to Holy Family Church.

Please send a full copy of my baptismal record to

Holy Family Church

3926 Poplar Level Rd.

Louisville, KY 40213

My Name: _____________________________________________

My Father’s name: _______________________________________

My Mother’s full maiden name: _____________________________

My date of birth: __ / __ / _____.

I as baptized soon after birth

I as baptized later in childhood.

I was baptized (or received into the Catholic Church) through RCIA

Please send a full copy of my baptismal record to

Holy Family Church

3926 Poplar Level Rd.

Louisville, KY 40213

My Name: _____________________________________________

My Father’s name: _______________________________________

My Mother’s full maiden name: _____________________________

My date of birth: __ / __ / _____.

I as baptized soon after birth

I as baptized later in childhood.

I was baptized (or received into the Catholic Church) through RCIA